What Happened to Goodbye
by FantasyAndBrokenDreams
Summary: I can't sleep because I'm plagued with nightmares and I can't talk otherwise I'll scream or burst into sobs and I can't eat because I don't want to survive. They don't understand. I can't live without him. Jimmy/OC. Angst-y (now) two-shot! EPILOGUE ADDED!
1. Loss

**I was attacked by the plot bunnies! This'll probably be a short, very angst-y ficlet centering on my OC, Jackie. This is my take on how Jimmy's death would affect his girlfriend if he had one. So let me know what you think! :)**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize from Falling Skies._**

What Happened to Goodbye?

I still hear their screams in my head when I close my eyes. It's been a week, but it's still all I can think about. The sound of anguished desperation haunts me in my sleep and gives me gut-wrenching nightmares that wake me up in the middle of the night, gasping for air and panting like I've just run a marathon.

So I don't sleep.

I walk around the camp at night like a zombie. I walk and walk and walk until someone, usually Weaver or Anne, directs me back towards my tent. I can see the pity in their eyes and I hate it. Pity won't bring Jimmy back. Nothing will. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

My nighttime escapades sometimes lead me outside our little safety zone. I visit his grave a lot. I know it's dangerous and Weaver would have my head if he knew, but I can't help it. I need to be near him. My feet are always in a blistered, swollen state from the miles of walking I do throughout the day and night, but I can't sit still. No matter how many times Anne scolds me gently and tells me to sit down, I just can't. I need to be moving constantly, never stopping, or I start to think. Think about Jimmy, and that hurts too much. So I occupy my mind with senseless wandering and numb legs.

"Jackie, you need to sleep," they tell me. "Jackie, you need to talk. Jackie, you need to eat."

But I can't sleep because I'm plagued with nightmares and I can't talk otherwise I'll scream or burst into sobs and I can't eat because I don't want to survive. They don't understand. I can't live without him.

So I don't sleep and I don't talk and I don't eat unless I'm forced to. They've tried so hard to break through the thick barrier I surround myself with. Weaver tried, Anne tried, and even Ben tried. But I don't want to listen to any of them. Especially not Ben. Because it's all his fault.

Ben. If he hadn't been out skitter hunting, Jimmy would still be alive. He would still be there when I woke up in the morning. He'd still walk me to my tent and kiss me goodnight. He'd still hold me when I cried and tell me everything would be okay. But it won't because Jimmy's not here and I'm alone.

When I find out we're leaving, I'm furious. I won't go. I won't leave Jimmy here. I won't I won't I won't. I can't leave him because I can't say goodbye. Goodbye is forever and I need him. They try to reason with me, but I run and I run and I don't stop until I get to Jimmy's grave. I fall to the ground and finally feel all the pain I've been trying to hide from since he died. I hold my head in my hands and finally let go, allowing myself to cry for the first time since his death. And I cry and cry and cry until I'm all dried out. And now I feel empty. Empty of tears, empty of love, empty of life. I don't realize that Ben's watching me until I look up some time later. The sun's set and I didn't even realize. The shadows loom over the playground and I wonder how I didn't notice.

"I'm sorry," I hear Ben say. "I'm so sorry."

And his words cause another round of tears to burst out. And I realize I can't be mad at Ben forever. It wasn't his fault. And he's hurting too. Jimmy was his best friend. So when he comes over, I let him kneel next to me. And when he starts crying too, I lean into him and find comfort in the embrace in another human being. And we cry together, mourning the boy who had such a deep impact on both of us.

When Weaver finds us, I'm curled up on the ground next to Jimmy's headstone, feeling the light embrace of sleep for the first time in over a week. I see him smile through my half-closed eyes and finally let go, drifting off to sleep. The last thing I feel is Ben picking me up off the ground, carrying me bridal-style back to camp.

And I know everything will be okay. Because Jimmy would want me to carry on. He'd want me to leave with the 2nd Mass and try to rebuild my life. He'd want me to be happy.

Good bye Jimmy. I love you, always and forever.

**:'( I cried writing this. I can't believe they killed Jimmy. He will be missed.**


	2. Epilogue

**Okay, I know I should be updating my other stories, but I suddenly was attacked by the plot bunnies to do a sequel chapter to this little ficlet. So, to everyone who asked me to do another chapter (and to anyone who reviewed the original chapter), this one's for you!**

**Oh, also, I just wanted to make an announcement. If you read any of my other stories, I would like to tell you that I am (temporarily) putting them on hold. Now, before you gather up your virtual tomatoes to throw, I would like to explain why. I am going to be participating in NaNoWriMo (look it up if you don't know it) to try to break the writer's block that is currently surrounding my other stories. So, no updates until December at least unless my writer's block suddenly breaks and I have to update. Sorry!**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Falling Skies._**

Chapter 2/Epilogue

Jackie watched as the white puffs of her breath mingled with the snowflakes. They melted as soon as they hit the ground, but it created a picturesque scene around her. She avoided looking at the ruins of Boston in the back ground. They were trying to rebuild but it had only been a few months since humanity had been able to finally overthrow the alien force and retake their planet, and they could only build so quickly.

Rubbing her frozen fingers together, she cursed her holey gloves once again. She knew she should have found a better pair, but she had pressed on to Boston so quickly that she hadn't had time to stop. She wanted to get back in time, and she had. Barely. The sun would set soon on a monumental anniversary for her. Making it in time made leaving her new family behind worth it.

Sighing softly, Jackie lifted herself off of the rusty swing set, tracing the crusted chains with her chilled fingertips. She stepped carefully, not wanting to get a boot full of icy melted snow that lay puddle in the ground, making the image of Swiss cheese from above.

After making her way through the minefield of water, she reached the worn cross. She was surprised it was still there, but noticed a few differences that made her suspect it had been replaced by a sympathetic traveler. After all, it had been five years.

Five years to the day. Was that all it had been? It felt like a lifetime ago when Jackie was thirteen and in love with the boy that had rotted in the ground below her. He was the beginning of the parade of deaths that it took to win this disastrous war. And not a day went by when she wondered what would have happened had he not died.

"Jimmy," she whispered, enjoying the taste of the name she so tried to avoid speaking. "Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy."

And that was all it took. The dam she kept inside her for those five years broke, and she found herself on her knees, sobbing her eyes out. A sense of déjà vu washed through her and she remembered the last night she was here. Then, she was alone and scared, having just lost the one she loved forever. She thought her life was over forever, but she didn't realize how resilient her spirit was. Or that life would be able to go on without Jimmy.

Jackie allowed herself to cry for the first time in she-couldn't-remember-how-long. After that night, she did everything she could to keep her emotions in check. She had admitted so much weakness that night; she had to do everything she could to remake her strong persona that had shattered right before her eyes.

As her tears subsided, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, allowing the last tear to streak down her face. She saw the loving face of her boyfriend smiling gently at her as he brushed his hand across her cheek, wiping away the tear. He knelt down beside her and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, holding her close.

They sat that way for a while, enjoying the heat of each other's body.

"Do you miss him?" Jackie broke the silence, looking deep into her boyfriend's green eyes.

"Every day," he looked into the distance, deep in thought. "But not as much as you do, I'd bet."

"I don't miss him as much anymore. Especially now that I have you," Jackie snuggled closer into her boyfriend before standing up, gently pulling him up after her.

"As long as we don't forget," the blonde boy wrapped his arms around Jackie.

And they stood there for a while, watching the sun set in the distance. As the night began to fall and the snow started to stick to the ground, Ben unwrapped his arms and pulled away.

"Let's go home," he said, and Jackie smiled. They could finally have a home, and Jimmy had sacrificed himself so that they could have it.

"Home sounds amazing," Jackie replied.

Ben held out a hand to Jackie. She took it and their fingers entwined. Together, they headed back to Boston and civilization, where their friends and family awaited them.

And Jackie could swear that, just for a moment, she heard Jimmy laughing.

**Aw, I kinda love that ending. Ok, critique away! Review please!**


End file.
